英语笑话段子精选

　　幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。以下是小编为大家准备的段子精选，一起来爆笑吧!

　　英语笑话段子精选(一)

　　Mum advice her daughter "if a boy touched ur breast say DON'T n if he touched ur vegi... say STOP IT. 1 week later.the girl told her mum." mum a boy touched my both then i said DON'T STOP IT"

　　妈妈对女儿说：“如果有人对你非礼，他如果摸你上面你就喊“不要.不要”，他如果摸你下面你就喊“停.停”，过了几天，妈妈问女儿有没有人对你非礼?女儿说有人对她非礼。妈妈说你喊了吗，女儿说喊了。妈妈说你怎么喊的，女儿说：“那天那个人上下同时摸，我就喊“不要停，不要停”!

　　英语笑话段子精选(二)

　　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　　他从头到脚打量了她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的`体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　　英语笑话段子精选(三)

　　TOM'S EXCUSE

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

　　Slow".

　　汤姆的借口

　　老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?

　　汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"