简短英语笑话短文

　　笑一笑，十年少，小编为大家整理了简短短文,希望大家能展颜一笑,记得每天都要开心一刻哦!嘻嘻!

　　简短英语笑话短文一：Australian Virgin

　　A madam decides to retire & get married. Her main requirement in a husband is that he be avirgin. She meets an Australian whom she is convinced is a virgin & marries him.

　　On their honeymoon she says "I'm going to the bathroom & get ready. You get things ready out here."

　　When she comes out of the bathroom, he has pushed all the furniture out in the hall.

　　"Why did you do that?" she asked.

　　"Well love, I figured if women were anything like kangaroos we'd need all the room we can get"...

　　简短英语笑话短文二：Kid wisdom

　　HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

　　You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.- Alan, age 10

　　HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

　　You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.- Derrick, age 8

　　WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

　　Both don't want any more kids.- Lori, age 8

　　WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

　　Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.- Lynnette, age 8

　　WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

　　When they're rich.- Pam, age 7

　　IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

　　It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.- Anita, age 9

　　HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

　　There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?- Kevin, age 8

　　HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

　　Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.- Ricky, age 10

　　简短英语笑话短文三：Suspicious Mother

　　Brian invited his mother over for dinner.

　　During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep

　　noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

　　Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and

　　Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.

　　Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.

　　Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be

　　thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

　　About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I

　　doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:

　　"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from

　　the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for

　　dinner. Love, Brian".

　　Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

　　"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains

　　that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

　　简短英语笑话短文四：Three Blonde Hunters

　　Three blondes walk into a forest and soon find a pair of tracks.

　　The first blonde says: "I think they're deer tracks."

　　The second blonde says: "No, I think they're bear tracks."

　　The third blonde says: "You're both wrong! They're bird tracks!"

　　Then they get hit by a train.