两人英语笑话

　　

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1、How much English can you speak?

　　"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

　　The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

　　The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

　　"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。"

　　法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文?" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我!"

　　2

　　A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?"

　　丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的`话。

　　他问："什么?"

　　3

　　Boy: Is this seat empty?

　　Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么?

　　女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

　　4

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"汤姆，你弟弟怎么了?" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。"

　　"没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。"