英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子简短
用过英文跟人家讲笑话吗?下面YJBYS小编就给您献上几段。 Where the Declaration of Independence was signed? Teacher：“Who knows where the Declaration of In dependence was signed?” Student：“I know，I know.At the bottom of the page.” 《独立宣言》是在哪儿签字的? 老师：“谁知道《独立宣言》在哪儿签字的?” 学生：“我知道，我知道。是在那页纸的底部。” Driving car Father：“Uh，oh，I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.” Susie：“That' s okay，Dad，the policeman behind you just did the same thing.” 开 车 父亲：“哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。” 苏茜：“没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。” Humor Mother：“Susie，every time you misbehave，I get another gray hair.” Susie：“Gosh，mom，you must have been a terror.Just look at Grandma.” 幽 默 母亲：“苏茜，每次你表现不好，我就多长一根白头发。” 苏茜：“天哪，妈，那你肯定一直都表现很糟。看看外婆吧。” Not Necessary To Answer Teacher：“I have two questions，it isn't necessary to answer the second question if you know the result of the first question.How much hair do you have?” Student ：“A hundred and twenty millions.” Teacher：“How do you know it?” Student：“It is not necessary to answer the second question.” 无 需 回 答 老师：“我有两个题目，你若能答出第一题就不需答第二题。你有多少根头发?” 学生：“1.2亿根。” 老师：“你怎么知道?” 学生：“第二题不需回答。” Now I can go home One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ” 我 可 以 回 家 了 一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能回答我的第一个问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板已被乱涂，他非常生气地问：“谁涂的.? 请站起来。”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见。” Don’t tell her Two twins went to the kindergarten.“Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse. One of them winked and said，“Elder brother，don't tell her.” 不 要 告 诉 她 两个双胞胎走进幼儿园。“你们两个谁大谁小?”保育员问。 其中的一个眨了眨眼睛说，“哥哥，不要告诉她。” The Things Kids Say One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm1) a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy4).” 童言无忌 一个夏季的晚上，雷雨大作，母亲让小男孩上床钻进被窝。她正准备熄灯，孩子声音颤抖地问：“妈咪，你今晚可以陪我睡吗?”母亲笑着，拥抱一下小孩安慰说，“亲爱的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房间。”一阵长长的沉默之后，男孩小声地用颤音说：“大胆小鬼。” TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU? One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?" "No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim. 你爸爸帮你了吗? 一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴 ，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都 做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?" "不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"