劲爆英语笑话
会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!小编给大家收集整理了劲爆，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!
劲爆英语笑话一：The Horse can talk 马会说话
man was reading a newspaper at a table, when his wife suddenly came to him and hit him on the back. The man was very surprised and asked: "Why do you hit me?"
The wife answered: "Who is Mary mentioned in the letter in your pocket?"
The man said: "It was the horse in the racecourse, which I chipped in two weeks ago."
Three days later, the man was sitting at the table, and this time his wife beat him angrily. The man asked: "What do you beat me for this time?"
The wife answered: "Your horse gave you a telephone call."
一个男人坐在桌边看报纸，他妻子忽然走到身后，用拳头狠狠地打他，男人摸着脑袋不解地问：“为什么打我?”
妻子回答:”你的口袋里那封信提到的玛丽是谁?”
男人说：“是我两星期前在马场下注的那匹马。”
三天后，男人又在桌边，他妻子这次更气愤地打他。男人问：“这次又为什么?”
妻子回答：“你的马打电话来了。”
劲爆英语笑话二：A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的'位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
劲爆英语笑话三：I am his second wife 我就是他的第二太太
A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young.
They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they looked like very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.
Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money, if you don't he will only spend it on his second wife." For several seconds nobody said a word, and then the lady said angrily, "I am his second wife."
一位富人和妻子到一家商店买手镯。两人都老大不小了。
他们看了好多漂亮的手镯，选了半个小时，其中有两只看起来相似。但在这两只当中，要哪一只，英语小故事他们仍举棋不定。一只很贵，另一只要便宜得多。
当然，店老板想把贵的卖给他们，因为卖贵的可以从它们手里赚更多的钱。于是，店老板对那位太太说：“哦，就买这只吧，他的钱你就花把。要是你不花，拿钱可能用在第二个太太身上了。”沉默了好几秒钟，这位太太面露不悦地说：“我就是他的第二个太太。”