英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里小编收集整理了大全爆笑带翻译，让你的心情速速好起来。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译一：
Where Have You Been?
你去哪儿了?
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things.
古时候，有个人总是忘事。
One day, he went out with his little son.
一天，他带着小儿子出门。
He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
一高兴，便让儿子骑在自己的脖子上。
After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people:
过了一会儿，他忽然想起儿子来，逢人便问:
"Have you seen my child?"
“你看到我的孩子了吗?”
One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
有个同村的村民见了大笑，说:“你难道不知道他在你脖子上吗?”
Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck,
一听这话，这人一把将儿子一从脖子上揪下来，
he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted:
气愤至极，狠狠地打了孩子，嚷道:
"I have told you not to go here and there.
“我叫你别乱跑，
Where did you go just now?"
刚才你到哪里去了?”
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译二：My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather?″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.
″What color?″ asked the clerk.
″Any?″ he responded.
″Size?″
″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天会来换的
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢?”
“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译三：老板和秘书
It was her first job as a secretary. Her short hand wasn’t bad, and her typing was quite good. But the boss noticed that she never answered the telephone. It rang and rang, and she never touched it.
“why don’t you answer it?” he called at last.
She came to the door of his office. “because it’s always for you,” she daid.
她的第一个工作是做秘书。她速记不错，打字也相当好。可老板注意到她从不接电话。电话铃一遍一遍地响，她从来不接。“你为什么不接电话?”终于老板叫了起来。她走到老板办公室门口说：“因为电话总是找你的。”
Boss: There are too many spelling mistakes in this letter that you have typed. There’s no excuse for that. You must use a dictionary when you are in doubt.
Secretary: But the trouble is that I am never in doubt.
老板：你刚刚打印的这封信拼音错误太多，没理由这样。你没把握的时候一定要查查词典。
秘书：可是，问题是我没有没把握的时候。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译四：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot.
一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
“噢，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。”
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种
Dear white, something you got to know
亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
When I was born, I was black.
当我出生时，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我长大了，我是黑色的
When I’m under the sun, I’m black.
我在阳光下，我是黑色的
When I’m cold, I’m black.
我寒冷时，我是黑色的
When I’m afraid, I’m black.
我害怕时，我是黑色的
When I’m sick, I’m black.
我生病了，我是黑色的'
When I die, I’m still black.
当我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you—white people,
你——白种人
When you were born, you were pink.
当你出生时，你是粉红色的
When you grow up, you become white.
你长大了，变成白色的
You’re red under the sun.
你在阳光下，你是红色的
You’re blue when you’re cold.
你寒冷时，你是青色的
You are yellow when you’re afraid.
你害怕时，你是黄色的
You’re green when you’re sick.
你生病时，你是绿色的
You’re gray when you die.
当你死时，你是灰色的
And you, call me color?
然后，你叫我“有色种人”?