最新爆笑英语笑话故事

　　一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

　　“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的`!!!”律师哀怨地说。

　　“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

　　律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

 

　　Ivan came homewith a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bitme," replied Ivan.

　　"Would yourecognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know himany where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

　　“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

 

　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in afight.

　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　　给我那个打赢的吧

　　-- 服务员，

　　这个龙虾只有一只爪。

　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

　　-- 哦，那给我那个打赢的吧