爆笑诙谐英语笑话

　　幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话，还要懂得他人说的笑话，来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

　　爆笑诙谐一：Best Reward

　　A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

　　最好的奖赏

　　一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

　　“最好的.办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

　　爆笑诙谐英语笑话二：The boy and the snails

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　男孩和蜗牛

　　一个乡下少年到处寻找蜗牛，当他双手都塞满了蜗牛后，就准备点火烤着吃。火点着了，蜗牛也开始感觉到热了，他们纷纷退向坚壳的深处，同时还发出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子听到了蜗牛发出的嘘声，便说：“你们这些连命都快没有的家伙，怎么还能有心情在窝里着火时吹口哨呢?”

　　爆笑诙谐英语笑话三：Cat Collector

　　A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

　　He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

　　The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.

　　The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

　　The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

　　To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

　　爆笑诙谐英语笑话四：Cross-eyed Rottweiler

　　A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?"

　　"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"

　　So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.

　　"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"

　　"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.

　　"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.