带翻译的英语笑话 笑破你的肚子

　　一、Forgot again

　　An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

　　After checking the couple out, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might want to start writing all the things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left .

　　Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "where are you going?" he replied, "To the kitchen." she asked, "Will you get a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top, I know you will forget that so you'd better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that," He then fumed into the kitchen. After about 30 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forget my toast."

　　一对八十岁的老夫妇记性不好，于是决定到医生那里检查，担心哪里有什么毛病。

　　医生检查完后告诉他们体检正常，只是为了帮助记忆，他们可以把想做的`事用笔记下来。老夫妇谢过医生后就回家了。

　　晚上看着看着电视，老头站起身来，老太太问：“你去哪儿啊?”老头回答：“去厨房。”老太太接着问：“带一盘冰激凌来，好吗?”老头说：“没问题。”老太太说：“难道不用写下来?这样你就不会忘记了?”老头说：“不用了，我记得住。”老太太又说：“那好，我还想在冰激凌上放点草莓。你最好记下来，我想你记不住的。”老头回答：“忘不了，你要的是一盘草莓冰激凌。”老太太还说：“我还想在顶上再放点奶油，我知道你记不住，还是写下来吧。”老头有点儿烦了，说：“用不着写，我能记住。”老头气愤地走进厨房。大概过了三十分钟，老头回来递给老伴一盘熏肉和鸡蛋。老太太盯着盘子看了一会儿说：“你忘了拿烤面包。”

　　二、Indian's Winter

　　Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.

　　印地安人问他们的新酋长，这个冬天是冷还是温暖。这位年轻的酋长从没学过祖先那些本领，他只好吩咐他们去捡木柴，然后自己走到一边去给国家气象局打电话。

　　"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.

　　“今年冬天会不会很冷?”他问。

　　"Looks like it," is the answer.

　　“看上去是这样的。”他得到这样的回答。

　　So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.

　　于是酋长要求大家收集更多的木柴。一个星期后，他又打电话给国家气象局。

　　"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"

　　“你确信今年冬天会很冷?”

　　"Absolutely."

　　“毫无疑问。”

　　The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"

　　酋长随即要求族人捡更多的木柴，然后再次给国家气象局打电话：“你肯定吗?”

　　"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."

　　“我告诉你，那将是有史以来最寒冷的冬天。”

　　"How do you know?"

　　“你怎么知道?”

　　"Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

　　“因为印第安人正发疯似地捡木柴!”