妻子与丈夫间的英语笑话

　　

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1.A man fell ill. His wife called a doctor in for him.

　　While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.

　　The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."

　　有个人生病了。他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。

　　医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。医生对她说：“你的.丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。” 然后他就留下了一些安眠药。

　　她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。”

　　

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2.A woman had bought birthday presents for her husband.

　　She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"

　　Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."

　　有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。

　　她很激动，并且急于要告诉她的丈夫。她说：“亲爱的，我买了两样东西给你做生日礼物。我现在就要告诉你，因为我等不得到那一天才说。一件礼物是一个地垫，可以放在我的梳妆台前。另一件是一个青铜的小雕像，可以放在客厅的壁炉架上”她还说：“好啦，你准备给我买什么呢?”

　　她的丈夫想了一会就说：“我最好是给你买一个刮胡刀和几条领带。这样我们就可以互相交换礼物了。”