幽默精选英语冷笑话

　　上帝的小孩

　　A preschooler asked his mother, "Mom, tomorrow our teacher is going to ask who my father is. What should I say?"

　　The mother said, "Just tell her that God is your father!"

　　The next day, the boy went to school, and the teacher asked him, "Who is your father?"

　　Scratching his scalp, the boy could not find an answer to the question.

　　The teacher asked again, "Who is your father?"

　　The child confessed, "I used to think that Mr. Smith was my father. But yesterday my mother told me that I am the son of another person, and I cannot remember his name!"

　　有一个上幼稚园的小孩问他妈妈：“妈妈，明天老师会问我们，我爸爸是谁，那我应该怎么回答呢?”

　　妈妈说：“那你就说，上帝就是你的爸爸啊!”

　　隔天他来到学校，老师问他：“你爸爸是谁?”

　　那个小孩在那边抓头抓脚，想不出来答案。

　　老师再问一次：“你爸爸到底是谁?”

　　那个小孩就说：“我本来认为我爸爸是史密斯先生，不过昨天我妈妈又说我是另外一个人的.儿子， 我一下子忘记他的名字了。”

　　老虎来了

　　Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

　　One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"

　　His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

　　两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。

　　其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?”

　　他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

　　到底谁更满足

　　A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?

　　The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.

　　一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足?为什么?

　　当然是有六个孩子的那个，因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。

　　粗心的理发员

　　Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

　　Customer: No.

　　Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat.

　　理发员：你进来时是不是系着红围巾?

　　顾客：没有呀。

　　理发员：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉咙。