雷死你的英语笑话最新

　　雷死你的最新：playmagic

　　A guy walks up to a girl in the bar and asks her if she wants to play magic.

　　She asks, "How so?"

　　He replies, "We go to my house, we screw and then you disappear!"

　　you were the only one here with brakes

　　A truck driver came upon a couple making passionate love in the middle of the road.

　　He blew his horn, blinked his lights and yet the couple never missed a stroke!

　　The driver stopped, got out and shouted at them, "Are you crazy, didn’t you here my horn, see my lights, didn’t you know I was coming?"

　　The horny young man said, "Yes, I knew you were coming! I knew she was coming and I knew I was coming! I also knew you were the only one here with brakes!"

　　雷死你的英语笑话最新：swappartnersforsex

　　A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.

　　They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, "You have a small penis!"

　　The alien man replies, "pull my ears!"

　　So she pulls his ears and his penis becomes larger. She is astonished and has the best sex of her life.

　　When the human couple come back together, she asked him how was it.

　　He replies, "It was great, but my ears are just killing me!"

　　雷死你的英语笑话最新：Cinderella

　　Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won’t let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

　　"First, you must wear a diaphragm."

　　Cinderella agrees. "What’s the second condition?"

　　"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

　　Cinderella agrees to be home by

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2. a.m.

　　The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn’t show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and "very" satisfied.

　　"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

　　"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

　　"I know of no prince with that kind of power! What was his name?"

　　"I can’t remember, exactly, um, ... Peter Peter, something or other...."