简单简短的英语笑话

　　导语：也许你看过很多笑话，但应该很少看英语的笑话。下面小编给大家收集整理了简单简短的，希望大家喜欢。

　　The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　"George,how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

　　"I didn't like her,Mother,because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."

　　新老师

　　9月1日,乔治放学回到家里.

　　"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.

　　"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得

　　Excuse for Speeding

　　Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road.A police car pulled them over.

　　〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.

　　〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃

　　超速的理由

　　哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们.

　　“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道.

　　“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地.”

　　Two birls

　　Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher:Please tell us.

　　Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　两只鸟

　　老师：这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

　　学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.

　　老师：请说说看.

　　学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

　　Bring me the winner

　　-- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.

　　-- Well,bring me the winner then.

　　给我那个打赢的吧

　　-- 服务员,

　　这个龙虾只有一只爪.

　　-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.

　　-- 哦,那给我那个打赢的.吧.

　　my little dog can't read

　　Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.

　　我的狗不识字

　　布朗夫人：哦,

　　亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

　　布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.”

　　He is really somebody

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody.What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一个大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.

　　-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人.