爆笑英语笑话大全

　　

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1、Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

　　The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."

　　"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"

　　"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

　　"Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".

　　迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁.一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服.

　　孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的`时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房.她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说：“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块.不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样.”

　　迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”

　　他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的.”

　　迪克说了一声“噢”.他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说：“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧.”

　　

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2、Stan:I won 92 goldfish.

　　Fred:Where are you going to keep them?

　　Stan:In the bathroom .

　　Fred:But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

　　Stan:Blindfold them!

　　斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼.

　　弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?

　　斯丹：浴室.

　　弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

　　斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!

　　

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3、George knocked on the door of his friend's house.When his friend's mother answered he asked,“can Albert come out to play?”

　　“ No,” said the mother,“it's too cold.”

　　“ Well,then,” said George,“ can his football come out to play ”

　　乔冶敲着他朋友家的门.当朋友的妈妈来应门时,他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗?”

　　“ 不行,” 那位妈妈说,“ 天气太冷了.”

　　“ 噢,那么,” 乔冶,“ 他的足球可以出来玩吗?