英语笑话听力

　　听力：Gotothehospital

　　Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

　　The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you‘re the father of twins."

　　"What a coincidence!" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

　　The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You, sir, are the father of triplets."

　　"Wow, that‘s really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down."

　　An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.

　　"Don‘t tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse.

　　After finally regaining his composure, he said, "I don‘t believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."

　　After hearing this, everybody‘s attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.

　　The nurse asked, "Sir, are you all right?"

　　"Yes" says the man, "I‘m o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store."

　　英语笑话听力：　Paintingshowsitall

　　At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.

　　"What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed.

　　"What painter?"

　　"The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work‘."

　　"Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren‘t working at all!"

　　"That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"

　　英语笑话听力：Newchemicalwarfare

　　An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"

　　"Sure. That‘s easy," said one man.

　　"What is it?"

　　"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."

　　"What, what?" reasked the instructor.

　　"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.