搞笑英语笑话精选

　　分享几则搞笑精选段子

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

　　另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

　　第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

　　It's His Fault

　　Billy and Bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

　　Last Saturday their mother said to them, I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden and be good.

　　Yes, Mummy, the two boys answered, and they went out.

　　They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen. Mummy, he said, Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allen's house. Mrs. Allen was one of their neighbors.

　　He's a bad boy, his mother said. How did he break it?

　　I threw a stone at him, Billy answered, and he quickly moved down.

　　是他的错

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他们是兄弟，两人经常打架。

　　上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说，我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。

　　是，妈妈，两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。

　　他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。妈妈，他说，波比打碎了艾伦太太家的`窗玻璃。艾伦太太是他们的邻居。

　　他是个坏孩子，他的妈妈说，他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?

　　我朝他扔了一块石子，比利回答道，他赶紧蹲下。

　　Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

　　The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

　　Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

　　在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

　　这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

　　尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。