中学生英语幽默故事选

　　中学生英语幽默故事选一：

　　What Are The Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that? “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl.“What are the two words?”

　　中学生英语幽默故事选二：

　　PaddyThere was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own，on which he bestowed the name of Paddy，and loved mightily.He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays，which he was spending with some relatives in the country. Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor.The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return;she broke it very gently，therefore，and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed.Later，however，she heard him weeping lustily in his bed.He was inarticulate with grief，but his brother explained that he was crying“about Paddy”. “But，” said the mother，“I told him about it this morning，and he did not seem to mind!” The brother explained，“yes，but he thought you said Daddy.”

　　中学生英语幽默故事选三：

　　A GentlemanDick was seven years old，and his sister，Catherine.was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour，and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him，“Now here's a knife，Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister，but remember to do it like a gentleman.” “Like a gentleman?” Dick asked.“How do gentlemen do it?” “They always give the bigger piece to the other person.”answered his aunt at once. “Oh” said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her，“Cut this cake in half，Catherine.”