幽默英语笑话大全爆笑

　　幽默大全爆笑一：

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　幽默英语笑话大全爆笑二：

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　幽默英语笑话大全爆笑三：

　　Boy: May I hold your hand?

　　Girl: No thanks,it isn't heavy.

　　Boy: Can I buy you a drink?

　　Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.

　　Boy: Is this seat empty?

　　Girl: Yes,and this one will be if you sit down.

　　Boy: Haven't I seen you some place before?

　　Girl: Yes.That's why I won't go there anymore.

　　Boy: I'd like to call you.Your number?

　　Girl: It's in the phone book.

　　Boy: Hi,didn't we go on dates before? Once or twice?

　　Girl: Must've been once.I never make the same mistake twice.

　　Girl: If we become engaged, will you give me a ring?

　　Boy: Sure,what's your telephone number?

　　Girl: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

　　Boy: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.