英语幽默笑话集锦

　　英语集锦一：

　　Secret For a Long Life A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?" "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise." "Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?" "Twenty-six."

　　英语幽默笑话集锦二：

　　Response AbilityAn Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity." Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong." A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　英语幽默笑话集锦三：

　　RaccoonsPart of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple. "I don't know why she's so concerned," he added. "She's been married three times."