英语幽默小故事带翻译

　　一、

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends，a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer ford "One of his friends asked."That is the talking clock.”the man replied.“How does it work!”

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的'一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的?”

　　"Watch，”the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly，someone screamed from the other side of the wall，“Knock it off，you idiots It’s two 0’clock in the morning”

　　他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”

　　二、

　　A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.

　　一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。

　　A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.

　　如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。

　　B:It's in the judge's hand now.

　　这事掌握在法官的手上。

　　A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?

　　如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用?

　　B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.

　　哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。

　　With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,

　　最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。

　　A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.

　　谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很管用。

　　B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.

　　如果你送了的话，我肯定会输掉这场官司。

　　A:But did send them.