搞笑话剧剧本英语：西门吹雪与叶孤城

　　话剧是一种语言艺术，英语话剧怎么写？以下是小编整理的.搞笑话剧剧本英语《西门吹雪与叶孤城》，欢迎阅读。

　　演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿

　　旁白

　　道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。

　　第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠

　　旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .

　　Birds are dancing in the cold .

　　A man is walking along the street ,step by step .

　　Wind is coming in silence.

　　Another mysterious man approaches .

　　Y与X相遇．

　　X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !

　　Y:, Never mind baby.

　　X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?

　　Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?

　　X:Iamximenchuixue.

　　Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?

　　X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!

　　Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!

　　X:No, I must kill you !

　　Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!

　　X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?

　　Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!

　　X:Pardon!

　　(Y拿出一袋牛奶)

　　X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?

　　Y:please drink it!

　　X喝完牛奶:Thanks,

　　Y:Do you still want to kill me ?

　　X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.

　　Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?

　　X:I’m sure I won’t!

　　Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!

　　X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !

　　Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit

　　（一人路过，x起身跑过去）

　　X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .

　　Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!

　　X:Thanks,byebye.

　　Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)

　　Y:Who are you?

　　H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?

　　Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .

　　H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !

　　Y:You are right !

　　H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my

　　king,he will give what you want.

　　Y:Yes,It’s very good.

　　H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!

　　第二幕：无间道

　　H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.

　　K:sit down pl第一文库网ese, yegucheng.

　　Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?

　　King:yes,I will.

　　Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?

　　K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……

　　Y:of course.

　　美女出场

　　M:hello，帅锅..

　　K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.

　　H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter

　　what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?

　　Y: Yes,I do.

　　K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）

　　X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!

　　K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?

　　Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.

　　X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!

　　Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!

　　X:Forgive you? Why ?

　　Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell

　　you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!

　　X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)

　　X:milk?I love you.

　　K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !

　　X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)

　　K:Fuck you. I must kill you!

　　X:How can you kill me? haha……

　　Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)

　　M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑

　　到西门吹雪身边）

　　Y :do you want to go to wc?

　　X:Yes,I……I…… do.

　　Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.

　　M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !

　　K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?

　　M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?

　　Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.

　　M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and

　　tomorrow is a good beginning !

　　K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !

　　M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !

　　(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)

　　Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)

　　（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）

　　M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .

　　X:go home ! ?

　　M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.

　　X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.

　　M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,

　　M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !