初二英语笑话

　　初二一：

　　A middle aged couple is watching TV when a TVEvangelist(福音传教士) comes on and promises to heal the sick."If only you would pray with Him, place your right hand in the air, and place your left hand on the afflicted(折磨的)area, the Almighty Lord will heal you."So the man places his right hand in the air and his left hand on his crotch(胯部) and his wife says "Gee honey he said heal the sick, not raise the dead!"

　　初二英语笑话二：

　　"I am in desperate need of help -- or I'll go crazy. We're living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell.""Do you promise to do whatever I tell you?" said the Master gravely."I swear I shall do anything.""Very well. How many animals do you have?""A cow, a goat and six chickens.""Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week."Thedisciple(门徒，信徒) was appalled(惊骇的.). But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, apitiable(可怜的) figure, moaning(呻吟) , "I'm a nervous wreck. The dirt! Thestench(恶臭) ! The noise! We're all on the verge of madness!""Go back," said the Master, "and put the animals out."The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. "How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy!

　　初二英语笑话三：

　　A jackal(豺，走狗) who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you can't eat me! You can't eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, that'll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"