司法英语笑话
1、Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered." "I think librarians are the easiest," said the second. "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically1." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. Their organs are color-coded." "You're all wrong," said, the fourth. "Lawyers are easiest. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable." 四个医生边喝咖啡休息边讨论他们的工作。 第一个说，“我认为给会计手术最容易,因为他们的器官都有编号。” “我觉得图书管理员最容易。”第二个说, “他们的器官都按字母顺序排列。” 第三个医生说，“我喜欢给电工手术，他们的器官都有带颜色的编码。” “你们都错了”，第四个说，“律师是最容易的.，他们没心、没肠、没骨头，而且他们的脑子用钱就能换掉。”
2、Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly? Witness1: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away. 律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西? 证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。
3、An American attorney1 had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then suel the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks." 一位美国律师刚结束他在意大利一所法律学校的客座演讲，就有一位意大利律师走近他问：“听说在你们国家里，一个人跌倒在人行道上，他就会起诉这块地的所有者赔偿很多钱，这是真的吗?” 得知这是真的后，意大利律师转向他的同行开始用意大利语快速谈论起来。当他们停下来后，美国律师问他们是否想去美国做法律工作。 “不，不，”有一个人回答说，“我们要去美国跌倒在人行道上。”