十万个冷笑话英语版

　　英语版一：

　　The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”

　　十万个冷笑话英语版二：

　　Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.”

　　十万个冷笑话英语版三：

　　In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in an“attendance book”.This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， and“remarks”. Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin the“remarks” column. When a real“London particular①” occurs the number“below the line” is legion ;the first of them wirtes：“Delayedby fog，” and the rest scribble a“ditto”. One morning—a foggy one—Mr. Jones became a proud father;but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late. Proudly he wrote in explanation：“Wife had twins，”which was followed in due course by the usual string of “ditto's”!