每日精品英语笑话
1、A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!" 一名新警察与老警察开着警车第一次出去巡逻。 他们得到命令去疏散一群闲逛的人，于是他们开车去了那条街，看到路口站着一群人。 新警察摇下窗户：“大家注意了，快离开这里。”人们看了他几眼，没理他。他喊起来：“离开这里，马上离开!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威胁下还是离开了。 新警察对他第一次执行公务的结果很满意，对老警察说：“我干得怎么样?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑着说，“尤其是在公共汽车站。”
2、A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks. 我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的'。 在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。” 那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。
3、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?' 'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.' 'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.' 一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱?” “七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。” 店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。” “还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”