简单搞笑英语笑话

　　生活中多点欢笑总是好的，今天我们就一起来欣赏欣赏简单搞笑吧!

　　简单搞笑英语笑话(一)

　　你丈夫需要安静地休息

　　Doctor:Your husband needs rest and peace.Here are some sleeping pills.

　　医生：你丈夫需要安静地休息。这是安眠药。

　　Wife:When must I give them to him?

　　老婆：我什么时候给他吃?

　　Doctor:They are for you.

　　医生：这是给你的。

　　简单搞笑英语笑话(二)

　　三只乌龟

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的'咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　简单搞笑英语笑话(三)

　　儿子的零花钱

　　After sending our son away to college, he would often call up asking for money.

　　自从送了我儿子去上大学之后，他就经常打电话问我们要钱。

　　One time when he called my husband answered, "sure we will send you money"he said," and I also noticed that you left your Physics book here, should we send that also?"

　　有一回他打电话过来，是我的老公接的，我老公回道：“我们会给你汇钱过去的，另外我看见你把你的物理书掉在家里了，我们要把那书也寄过去么?”

　　"Uh, oh yeah, OK," he responded. I asked him afterward how much he sent up "$

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1,100" he said. When I gave him a surprised look, he explained, "Don't worry, I taped a $100 check on the cover, and the other $1000 check inside the cover!

　　“呃，好的”儿子回答道。后来我问我老公他给儿子寄了多少钱。“1100美元”他说。当看见我惊讶的表情后他解释道：“不用担心，我把100美元的支票粘在了书的封面，另外1000美元的支票粘在了封面里面!”