英语幽默笑话的集锦

　　Napoleon Was III

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year，his history professor failed him in his examinations，and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However，his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　"He’s a good boy，"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”

　　"No，no，that’s quite impossible，"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know，last month I asked him when Napoleon had died，he didn't know”

　　"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"

　　拿破仑病了

　　杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

　　“他是个好孩子，”杰克的.父亲说，“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答，“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

　　“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说，“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

　　Who is This

　　My two sisters and I were all away at various colleges at the same time. One day，after facing too many crisises and tired of being treated just another undergraduate，I phoned home for some consolation and understanding of my unique problems.

　　When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany of frustrations with college IifeAs I paused to catch my breath, he said,"OK,honey now, first of all, who isthis?”

　　你是哪一个

　　我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。经历了太多的危机，也厌倦了受到与其他大学生的对待之后，有一天我给家里打了个电话，就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。

　　爸爸接起电话后，我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。当我停下来歇口气时，爸爸说:“好啦，亲爱的……现在，首先告诉我，你是哪一个?”

　　.Have You Read Hamlet

　　A student in the literature class asked his teacher if he had read a hot novel. The teacher said that he had not read the book.

　　"What a surprise,"said the student.“It has been published for several months.”

　　"Then have you read Shakespeare's Hamlet?”asked the teacher.

　　"No，”said the student.

　　"What a pity ! You’d better hurry，for it has been published for several hundred years.”

　　你读过《哈姆雷特》吗

　　文学课上，一个学生问老师是否看过一本最新的畅销小说。老师说还没有看过那本书。

　　“太让人吃惊了，”这个学生说，“这本书已经出版好几个月了。”

　　“那么你看过莎士比亚的《哈姆雷特》吗?”老师问。

　　“没有。”学生回答道。

　　“太遗憾了!你最好快点儿，因为这本书已经出版了好几百年了。”