经典爆笑英语冷笑话

　　幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话，还要懂得他人说的笑话，来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

　　经典爆笑英语冷笑话篇一：

　　One Side of the Case 一面之辞

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。

　　“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。

　　“你的`右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。

　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”

　　经典爆笑英语冷笑话篇二：

　　Two Soldiers

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

　　两个士兵

　　军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

　　比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

　　乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

　　这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

　　比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

　　乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

　　“你还要什么?”比尔问。

　　乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

　　经典爆笑英语冷笑话篇三：

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。

　　经典爆笑英语冷笑话篇四：

　　My friend's preparations for a visit from her children included a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind' her,"My children are in their 20's,and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?"

　　我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时,她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了,可我仍然得给他们钱。这种事什么时候才算完呢?”

　　"I'm not sure,"the man replied while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand,"but I`m not the one to ask. I'm here to deposit a check my mother gave me."

　　“我可不知道。”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。“我可不是你该问的人,我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。”