简短的英语小笑话集锦

　　The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked the woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

　　地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。“登一篇讣告多少钱?”一位女士问。“五美元一个字，太太。”书记员礼貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小会儿，“拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的.，这样写：‘科恩去世了’”“就这些了?”书记员疑惑地问道。“对，就这些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我刚才没有告诉您，在我们这登讣告最少也得五个字。”“没错，你就应该告诉我，”女士有点生气了，“现在我得考虑一下，嗯…拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了，出售一辆卡迪拉克轿车。’”

　　A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　代课教师试图运用她的学知识。开始上课时，她说：“谁觉得自己很愚蠢，请站起来。”小约翰马上站起来了。老师问：“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢，小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢，只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”

　　As students in the college of veterinary medicine at Texas A & M University, we frequently treated the farm animals at the state prison. While awkwardly performing a medical procedure on an unruly horse, a classmate said to the prisoner who was holding the animal, "Sorry I'm taking so long." "No problem," the prisoner replied, "I'm doing seven years.

　　我在德克萨斯A&M大学兽医药学系学习的时候，同学们经常把动物带到州监狱里去治疗。有一次我们笨手笨脚的给一匹烈马做完检查，我同学对一直按着这匹马的犯人说：“真是不好意思，我用了这么长时间。”“没关系，”他回答说，“我已经作了七年这种事了。”