经典幽默英语笑话大全

　　我们分享一切

　　An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.

　　一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。

　　A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

　　一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。

　　"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

　　“没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”

　　A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.

　　几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。

　　"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

　　他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”

　　"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."

　　“她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”

　　Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

　　司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点?”

　　The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

　　老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”

　　I Am Going to Shop 我要去购物啦

　　“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

　　我帮来购物的.女士包好东西后，问道：“是付现金、支票还是记账呢?” 当她找钱包的时候，我注意到她的包包里竟放着一个电视遥控器。

　　“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

　　我问：“你一直都随身带电视遥控器的吗?”

　　“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”

　　她回答说：“不是啦。但我老公不乐意跟我一起来购物，所以我决定拿走他的遥控器来惩罚他。”

　　我为什么逃避手术

　　A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

　　一位男士在进行手术前被发现正沿着医院的大厅逃离。

　　"What's the matter?" he was asked.

　　“发生了什么?”有人问他。

　　He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

　　男士回答道：“我听见护士说，‘这只是一个简单的手术。不用担心，我相信不会出问题的。’”

　　"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

　　“她这样做是想让你感到安心啊，有什么好害怕的?”

　　"She was talking to the damn doctor!"

　　“可她是在对那该死的手术医生说!”