「笑话」英语幽默小故事

　　Good Sight 好视力

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?

　　证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

　　来信

　　Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　″I have known many an instance(实例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　一个星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的几封信。他打开其中一封,发现信中只写着“傻瓜”两个字。

　　他平静而认真地把这件事告诉教友们：“写信时忘了签名的人,我遇到过很多,但只签了名却忘了写信的人,我还是头一次遇到。”

　　Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew.

　　Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?

　　顾客：服务员，我这个牡蛎炖菜里怎么没有牡蛎?

　　服务员：是啊，你不会指望在天使蛋糕里发现天使吧?

　　玫瑰

　　On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

　　Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

　　Yes, I said.

　　For her birthday? she asked.

　　No, I replied.

　　For your anniversary?

　　No, I said again.

　　As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

　　一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走进店里，一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。

　　先生，这些是送给你妻子的吗?她问道。

　　是的，我说。

　　她的生日?她问。

　　不是，我回答。

　　你们的结婚纪念日?

　　不是，我又答道。

　　当我将找回的钱装进口袋，朝门口走去时，那年轻的女人冲我喊道：希望她能原谅你。

　　Part-time Job业余工作

　　When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

　　"How was your first day?" I asked.

　　"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

　　Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

　　"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

　　我儿子在一所中学读二年级时，在一家超级市场找到了一份包装商品的业余工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。

　　“第一天感觉如何?”我问。

　　“好极了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟许多漂亮的女孩子讲了话。”

　　由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道：“你跟他们说了些什么?”

　　“你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装?”

　　Who Discovered Australia?谁发现了澳大利亚?

　　Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

　　Johnny: It's there, sir.

　　Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

　　Sammy: Johnny, sir.

　　老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

　　约翰尼：先生，在这儿。

　　老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?

　　萨默：先生，是约翰尼。