英语幽默笑话带翻译

　　篇一：

　　A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."

　　Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"

　　The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(无知的`人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”

　　"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

　　有个士兵没有注意到一个年轻的陆军中尉，没有向他敬礼。中尉很严厉地对那个士兵说：“你没有向我敬礼，因此你要马上敬100个礼。”

　　这时候将军过来了。他看到那个可怜的士兵就要开始敬礼时，就大声问道：“这是怎么啦?”

　　中尉解释说：“这个蠢货没有向我敬礼，我就罚他马上向我敬一百个礼。”

　　将军笑着说：“完全正确。不过，老弟，别忘了他向你每敬一个礼，你都要回礼的啊!”

　　篇二：

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?” “I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered. “Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.” The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”

　　第一次世界大战期间，一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣，炮弹和子弹到处乱飞。这样过了一个小时后，一个士兵认定战斗对他来说变得太危险了，所以他离开前线开始逃离战场。步行了一个小时之后，他看见一个军官向他走过来。那军官叫住他说：“你要到哪儿去?” “长官，我正尽可能远地躲开我们身后正在进行的战役，”士兵回答说。 “你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地对他说：“我是你的指挥官。” 那士兵听到此话感到非常惊讶，说：“天哪，我想不到我已经往回跑了这么远了!”