英语幽默搞笑短文

　　一、

　　An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven.

　　一个老律师就要死了。一天他告诉他妻子，他想到了一个办法可以把他所有的钱带去天堂。

　　He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.

　　他告诉妻子，把他所有的'钱都放到阁楼，那样他去天堂的路上就可以顺便带走。

　　A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there.

　　他死后两三个星期，他的妻子打扫阁楼发现钱袋子还在那里。

　　"That old fool," she chuckled. "I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!"

　　“这个老傻瓜，”她窃笑着说。“早就告诉他，应该把钱放到地下室才对!”

　　二、

　　Last weekend, Xiao Li gave Xiao Bai a phone call to invite her out to eat dinner. Because Xiao Bai loves Xiao Li, she was very happy. They went to Xiao Bai's favorite restaurant. When they arrived, they got a table and ordered some food. Although Xiao Bai really likes cabbage, she isn't a vegetarian. Xiao Bai ordered a plate of Homestyle Tofu, as well as two plates of beef. Xiao Li ordered two bowls of rice and one bowl of spicy-sour soup. The server brought the food very quickly.

　　上个周末，小力给小白打了一个电话请她一起出去吃晚饭。因为小白爱小力，所以她很高兴。他们去了小白最喜欢的饭馆。到那儿以后他们就有了一张桌子，点了一 些菜，虽然小白很喜欢青菜，不过她不是素食主义者。小白点了一盘家常豆腐，还点了两盘牛肉。小力点了两碗米饭和一碗酸辣汤。服务员上菜上得真快。

　　After they finished eating, Xiao Li wanted to pay the bill, but had a large problem. He forgot to bring money! Right now he does not even have one yuan. Xiao Li is very embarrassed. He let Xiao Bai pay. Right now Xiao Bai does not love Xiao Li.

　　吃完饭以后小力想付钱，但是他有一个大问题。他忘了带钱!现在他一块钱都没有。小力很不好意思，他让小白付钱。现在小白不爱小力了。