英语版笑话大全爆笑

　　总是有些时候莫名其妙的.不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里小编收集整理了英语版笑话大全爆笑，让你的心情速速好起来。

　　英语版笑话大全爆笑篇一：Who Gets The Dog?

　　A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

　　The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

　　One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

　　Of course, the Reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

　　There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the Reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

　　英语版笑话大全爆笑篇二：The Woman Is On Fire

　　A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.

　　But it also lit up her arm, too!

　　Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.

　　A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.

　　When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm."

　　英语版笑话大全爆笑篇三：Gifts For Your Teacher

　　On the last day of kindergarten, the children brought presents for their teacher.

　　The florist's son gave her a box. She hook it, held it up, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Is it flowers?"

　　"That's right!" said the boy.

　　Then the candy store owner's son gave her his package. She shook it, held it up, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Is it a box of candy?"

　　"That's right!" said the boy.

　　Next the liquor store owner's son handed her his box.

　　She shook it, held it up, and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "I bet I know what it is. Is it wine?"

　　"No," said the boy.

　　She touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it Champagne?"

　　"No," said the boy.

　　"I give up. What is it?"

　　The boy grinned. "A puppy!"

　　英语版笑话大全爆笑篇四：他赢了

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　他赢了

　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

　　英语版笑话大全爆笑篇五：Jimmy's Not Stupid

　　Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.

　　Little Jimmy stood up, alone.

　　Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you're stupid?"

　　"No," Jimmy said. "But I didn't want you standing up there alone."